"Man, have you been reading all the articles and stories on Twitter today?"
I reply that no, I've been too busy to even check Twitter. I ask him what articles and stories he's referring to.
"My Twitter feed is full of women sharing their stories of sexual assault and sexual harassment, and it's shocking. It's like every female I follow, and then some, has been a victim at one point in their lives and I'm just in, well, shock. I'm ashamed of my gender, to be honest. With all these actresses coming forth about how Harvey Weinstein acted towards them, its encouraging other women to speak about about their experiences. I'm sad to think that every women that I value and have in my life has experiences some kind of sexual assault or harassment. Is it really like that?"
Yeah, unfortunately it IS really like that.
I like to consider myself lucky in that I've never once experienced any sort of sexual assault or harassment in the work place by someone in a position of seniority over me. Sure, there's been one or two employees whose behaviour probably walks the line, but I've never felt like I've been victimized. In fact, being a female in a very male orientated business like radio and music, I was very lucky that I started out in a place like UMFM. UMFM prides itself, and rightly so, on being a safe place for all people - regardless of age, sex, gender, religion. Everyone is welcome and treated as an equal.
But the truth is there are tons of Harvey's out there. It's easy to find men who are okay with using their positions of power to get what they want sexual.
It's sad, sick, and true.
When I first started DJ'ing, there were very few female in my city who were getting behind the decks to spin. It was rare to see women at record sales and conventions who weren't dragged there by their significant others. During that time, I ran into my fair share of Harvey's who felt it was okay to objectify me, make lewd or rude comments, or even worse, corner me in dark areas of clubs to tell me how much they loved my set and looking at my 'tits' as I bent over to change the records between songs. Many a night, I was scared to walk with my records to my car after the bar had closed. Again, I was lucky. I had a very close crew of male friends and DJ's who I trusted and who, on many occasions, either stood up for me, escorted me to my car, or who drove me home themselves to make sure I arrived safe and sound when I was too scared to walk home alone.
With more and more women present in the radio/podcast/DJ scene, I find I feel more empowered. I don't put up with rude or sexual comments from people.
But that is the problem, isn't it?
The Harvey's, they are still out there, engaging in this shitty behaviour.
They still come up to me in clubs to make horrible comments, and try to grab at me. They still send unsolicited dick pictures to my Instagram or Twitter direct messages. They still think it's okay to treat women in this manner.
It never was and never will be okay.
Women are taking a stand more and more, and sharing their stories of abuse and harassment. I think it's amazing to hear and see. And I think it's about bloody time as well. The more we empower and encourage and support each other, the easier it will be for us to talk about our experiences. The easier it is for us to talk about our experiences, the easier it will be for us to call out shitty and horrible behaviour when it happens. The easier it is for us to call out shitty and horrible behaviour in the moment means that we are fixing the root of the issue and correcting horribly inappropriate behaviour at the source.
If we keep doing this, the sooner we will all be working towards a place where this shit is not longer tolerated or acceptable.
I kind LOVE that idea.
Love,
Penny xx
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